The author uses highly dramatic and hyperbolic language to warn students against joining fraternities and sororities during Rush Week, comparing Greek life members to "demons in disguise" and "Hades' disciples" who want to steal your soul.

The author delivers a harsh critique of Grateful Dead fans, arguing that their devotion is fueled more by "hallucinogenic drugs" than musical talent. He even suggests that Donny Osmond would be a more logical choice for worship, given his longevity and cleaner image.

Flo Werner recounts a humorous and nostalgic story about a childhood rivalry with her brother, Karl, centered around a "Peanuts" coloring book and a particularly memorable sibling prank.

In this final column for the semester, Flo Werner vents her frustration with the common phrase "Have a nice summer," arguing that such pleasantries are often empty, fraudulent, and used to mask our true, less-than-polite feelings toward others.

Flo Werner writes about the self-loathing triggered by seeing a fitness model on television, leading her to attempt a grueling workout with her "athletic" boyfriend that ends in immediate regret and a return to her original habits.

Flo Werner argues that the "best part of any sport is the fighting," admitting that she finds more enjoyment in a violent bench-clearing brawl than in the technical skill of the game. She dismisses the concept of sportsmanship as "laughable" and expresses a "bloodthirsty" desire for "REAL ACTION," contrasting her preference for raw aggression with the sterile, "civilized" nature of other professional sports.

In the commentary piece "Rutgers’ Bitch—Gimmie A Smoke...", author Flo Werner provides a raw, humorous account of her failed attempt to quit smoking, detailing the physical and emotional withdrawal she experienced. She ultimately concludes that the habit is too deeply ingrained to overcome, expressing frustration with "hypocritical" ex-smokers who sermonize against the vice.

Flo offers a scathing and humorous critique of the Ku Klux Klan, attacking both their hateful ideology and their "tacky" white conehead fashion choices.

Flo Werner humorously vents her frustration over her aging 1976 Grand Prix failing its mandatory state vehicle inspection. She mocks the "scary" mechanical state of her car and sarcastically suggests that simply being a Rutgers-Camden student should be a valid excuse for driving a vehicle with a "REJECTED" sticker.

Flo describes her intense love for shopping, calling herself an "addict" who finds a state of euphoria in malls that "no drug could induce." Despite her self-described poverty, she humorously details her "maniac" behavior during sales and her inability to resist buying items she doesn't need, like a spandex tiger bodysuit or iridescent high heels.

Flo Werner scathingly critiques the boy band New Kids on the Block, dismissing their music as manufactured, corporate "drivel" that lacks the soul of legendary acts like the Beatles. She argues that the group's popularity is a fleeting marketing fluke and predicts that they will be completely forgotten by the public within twenty years.

Flo breaks the fourth wall to describe the chaotic and stressful process of writing her weekly column, from the "hell" of missing deadlines to the physical toll of late-night typing and editing.

In this column, Flo Werner explains her strong dislike for dogs, citing reasons such as their smell, shedding, and "sloppy" behavior. She contrasts them with cats, whom she praises for being more expressive and independent